Deutsche Eimer Liste (The German Bucket List)

I am firmly of the mindset that everyone needs a Bucket List. It's a great way to solidify goals, plus thanks to Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, it's a super trendy thing to do. So in the spirit of solidifying the goals of this chapter of my life, I've spent the last couple days thinking about all the activities that are nonnegotiable before I depart from Deutschland. The list was compiled thoughtfully, earnestly, and progresses in order of priority and importance, starting with number

Eins - Find the electrician responsible for wiring our apartment's bathroom light switch in the hallway.

Every time I stumble into the bathroom at 2:33 am, this guy is somewhere laughing because I invariably forget to flip the switch in the hallway before I go in. Actually, this happens independent of the time of day as there is something about having the light switch outside the room for which it controls the light that doesn't make sense to me. Germans try and convince me that it's logical by saying that this way "You are never having to go into a bassroom zat is daark." I rebut by saying that every time I go into the bathroom it is dark, that is until I turn my brain back on and realize that some jerk wired the switch out in the hallway. To be fair, this is a phenomenon that can be found all over Europe, but my consistent battles with this one specific switch have caused me to focus my discontent on one electrician, when it is likely the European Electrician Guild that is to blame. Either way, when I finally bump into the grinning electrician (in my head his name is something extremely German like Helmut Müller-Schmidt), I'll be sure to lodge with him all my complaints. In the meantime, I've hung a giant exclamation point over the light switch to catch the attention of my half-asleep counterpart before he finds himself alone and scared in a dark bathroom for the 30th night in a row.

Zwei - Translate the German word Hof

I have a dictionary, the Internet and unlimited access to native German speakers, but for some bewildering reason this very frequently used three letter word eludes my linguistic capabilities. Here are just a few of the things that I have found Hof to mean: backyard, garden, courtyard, driveway, foyer, farm, alcove and open-air shed. Let's be real here for a second, a language that has two words for the crack between two twin mattresses shoved together (Gräbele and Besucherritze) should have individual words for all these semi-enclosed spaces. At this point I've just starting calling every area inside, outside, in front of, behind and next to any sort of man-made structure a Hof to see how far the word stretches. When it works, I shake my head and make a mental note to add some other translation like sunroom patio to my ever-growing list. When it doesn't work, I shake my head then proceed in publicly deriding Hof and all its secret meanings.

Drei - Ride my bike in Berlin

To most people taking the trouble to drag my bike on a train to Berlin just to ride it around seems like a colossal waste of time. But I know that my friend Loaf Lorenz agrees that riding a fixed gear in the German Capital would be not short of spectacular. Wide, flat, perfectly paved boulevards; impressive bike infrastructure; parks and promenades to explore. Touring a city by bike is undoubtedly my favorite way to travel (a la Amsterdam) and Berlin is my favorite European city, so it only seems logical to mix the two. Now I just have to wait until the weather is conducive to being outside on my bike all day. As we dip into days with high temperatures in the high 30's, it looks like I'll have to save this one until the other side of winter.

Vier - Sell Glühwein und Bratwurst at the Dingolshausen Christmas booth

I love Christmas and I will most definitely attribute my zeal for the holidays to my mom's family's fanaticism. As soon as Thanksgiving passes, Christmas begins (assuming you manage to hold off from buying into the Xmas specials that begin showing up in stores in late August) and for me here in Germany it will be no exception. I'm a person who likes tradition, so my only request is that Stefan, Flo and I get to work at the Dingolshausen Christmas booth again, last year having been the First Annual. Dingolshausen is the 1000 inhabitant town where the Walter parents live and the Christmas booth is a place for Dingolshäuser to meet in the week before Christmas to enjoy some warm Glühwein, a Bratwurst or the awkward flaming log that Herr Frankenzaubermeister instructed me to lay on the ground and set ablaze. It is, for me, something that captures the essence of Christmas - family and friends together, enjoying themselves together and for some reason they're standing outside in the -15 degree weather.

Fünf - Attend Fasching in Cologne

My current experience with German Fasching or Carnival is quite limited; it is limited, in fact, to Jennifer Stuart wearing a bright purple sequin dress while giving a presentation about Fasching to our German 101a class. Although her presentation and dress were individually amazing, and even more stunning in concert, I think this year I'd like to experience the real thing. From what I've heard, it's the German equivalent to Mardi Gras or Carnival in Rio de Janiero which is to say it's pure madness, in a costume. Unfortunately I left my infamous ManBug costume in California (a polite way of saying that Jeremia Kimelman, a 22 year old with the short term memory of an 86 year old, lost the costume's hat, thereby ruining the outfit...) so I'll have to fashion something new, but equally as ridiculous. Perhaps a bumblebee, or better yet, an Eskimo since the festival is outside in February in Cologne.

Sechs - Run from Würzburg to Koblenz with Stefan and a tricycle baby stroller

This was originally a joke. Well, it's still kind of a joke, but we're going to do it. The 130 mile trek should take us about a week. As I look at the map I know what I'm going to be thinking the whole time: "Give me a bike and I could do this in a day." We'll see if the trip comes to fruition, but now that I've written that it's nonnegotiable, it would be kind of a let down if we didn't manage to complete it.

[I just spent the last two minutes contemplating whether or not I actually want to go through with this and I am extremely ambivalent. Thankfully my blog allows posts to be edited after they are published.]

Sieben - Drive a German Automobile on the Autobahn

I've driven an American, a French and a Czech car on the Autobahn thus far and while each was fun in it's own respect, I need to do it in a German car to make the experience complete. A BMW, Mercedes or Audi would suffice. Pretty simple request, now I just need the friends with the right cars. I should start hanging out in the Econ department of Universtität Würzburg.

Acht - Spend the entirety of my last day wearing Lederhosen, then fly home in them

Yesterday, I helped the eldest Walter son, Benjamin, begin the renovation effort of his newly purchased apartment and during much of the day, we listened to Bavarian Haus Musik. This is very much the classic, polka-esque music that we stereotypically envision Germans listening to, and I have to say, that hearing it made me very happy to be a quasi Bavarian for the next several months. I got to thinking, 'How can I show my excitement for Bavaria?' and the first answer that came to my head was Lederhosen. So as a tribute to my time in Germany and a symbol of it's importance in my life, I swear that on my last day here I will wear the typical Bavarian leather pants, socks, shirt and hat. It's a German must-do, so it will be done.

Small disclaimer: this list is subject to change. :)